How to Plan, Write and Give Incredible Best Man Speeches Avoiding the Common Pitfalls

Best Man Speech . . . a touching moment!

The idea of a bridal party is not a whimsical surface level relational symbol of how many friends the bride or groom has, but an example of true brotherhood and sisterhood supporting a friend in one of the most glorious celebrations of their lives. A wedding is not supposed to be just another party one can pick up on ladies and get inebriated at, and as the best man, it is his job to make sure the ceremony and reception goes off without a hitch. The groom already is sweating and stressing about this climatic step he’s about to take in his life, he does not need to be thinking of the over-intrusive Aunt Judy’s opinion on what makes a proper set of presents. Usually the best man is the groom’s best buddy or brother, the man that has stuck with him through thick and thin for years, and would take a bullet any day for his pal. Tradition mandates that the best man makes a best man speech at the reception. If you are the best man, this speech is what everyone is waiting for, and you better make it good because it is the culmination of what your brother or best friend really means to you. Years of friendship, fellowship, and brotherhood has brought these two men to this moment, so do not downplay the importance of your speech.

So how does one make a best man speech, or rather what makes a quality best man speech? Now that you have read how serious the speech is on an emotional and memorable level, it is okay, and even advisable, to be funny and jovial. If a best man can hit a comedic aspect and then execute a serious meaningful honesty in his speech the potential for the greatest catharsis is present, not only for the groom but the whole audience. I have been asked to be best man twice and have done two toasts so this is coming from personal experience and the success from both occasions. So to begin your process of coming up with the perfect thing to say, keep in mind that society is imperfect so before anything, throw away the unneeded stress. Most of the time when you are not stressed, this is where honest vulnerability comes from. Vulnerability is a key to making a best man speech that will really mean something to one’s buddy. Although on the surface it may seem to be feminine to be mentally and emotionally bare in front of strangers and your manly buddies, but it is a step in what will be the manliest moment of the night. Nothing is more inspirational than two men brave enough to express the bond they share in front of strangers.

A common pitfall among many best men, while giving their best man speeches, is the affinity to try and be funny or charming. This pitfall usually makes the best man come off as a fake surface level self-indulgent chump, and this fact will be apparent to the audience. I can guarantee that one will come off as charming and funny if he is just honest with himself, the groom, and the audience.

The duration of the best man speech is a factor into a successful toast. On one hand the best man does not want to be that guy who stays at the microphone for an hour and thinks it is his own stand-up comedy performance. On the other hand one doesn’t want to be the awkward or careless individual who just says “congrats, drink up”. The most amicable approach would be the healthy medium, but in the end your creativity lends to the timing.

Clichés are not the best man’s friend. On one hand there is a good reason why clichés exist, because they stem from years of reality confirming a certain way things tend to go. Put everything into your own words, own it, do not look up ‘best man speeches‘ online and copy and paste, because that is low and disrespectful to the best man badge per say.

There are three different ways to plan for the verbal execution of what one will say for his best man speech and that is scripted, free-form, and the hybrid. Scripted is one of the best choices, especially if you are nervous in front of a crowd and gives you time to really ponder what would be the best thing you can say to your best mate. It also leaves room for it to come off as robotic and not sincere, so practice it. Free-form is the most dangerous because if you do not have any sort of showmanship and add-lib skills it could turn into disaster. The hybrid is the best of both worlds and mixes both free-form and scripted, more like having an outline and this gives you a road but freedom to improvise. Hopefully with these tips you can confirm your friend’s choice to make you the best man. If you’d prefer a ready-made solution you can study these online best man speech resources, several best men from around the world have benefited from the best man speech samples and templates it offers.

 

 

How To Write Best Man Speeches

If you've been selected as the best man for a wedding, chances are you've wondered how to write and deliver a best man speech that will be remembered. Following these simple steps will help you deliver a flawless speech; one that both toasts and honors the happy couple.
1. Make it Personal
You were chosen as best man by the groom because of your unique personality. Therefore it is important that your best man speech reflect who you really are. The groom is counting on you to be yourself - don't let him down.
With this in mind, begin to write a best man speech by playing to your strengths. If you're not naturally a comedian, don't worry. You don't have to make the audience roll in the aisles laughing. Best man speeches can be hilariously funny or they can be heartfelt and sincere. There really is no rule here, other than "just be yourself."
2. Keep it Brief
There is nothing worse than best man speeches that go on too long. When writing your speech, remember to practice it with a watch to check its length. Five minutes is fine; 10 minutes can even be okay if you have plenty to say. Beyond that, unless you're an experienced professional speaker, your audience is going to get bored quickly. Keep your best man speech short and sweet and you'll be fine.
3. Don't Forget to Introduce Yourself
One common mistake in best man speeches is that the best man neglects to introduce himself, or explain how he knows the bride and groom. Remember that weddings are full of distant relatives and casual acquaintances; many people there will not have the faintest idea who you are.
TIP: the audience is there because they like the bride and groom. Explain your close relationship with the bride and groom in the first few sentences. This will ensure that the audience likes you too.
4. Be a Storyteller
The heart of your best man speech should be a story or funny anecdote about the groom and bride. One of the most popular topics is how the bride and groom met, as couples often have funny stories about how they got together. If you're drawing a blank on this one, talk to the family of the groom (or bride) for suggestions.
5. Mirror the Groom's Personality
If the groom is a serious, thoughtful man, you'll do well to include more serious thoughtful comments. On the other hand, if the groom doesn't have a serious bone in his body and loves to laugh and joke about everything, you'll want to include more jokes and irreverent comments in your speech.
Remember, your best man speech should fit the groom. Consider the groom's personality before writing anything. This will help you write a best man speech that is appropriate and personal.
6. Keep Your Comments Suitable for All Ages
While it can be funny to make slightly "off-color" comments about the groom, you need to walk a fine line here. Remember, there will be distant relatives at the wedding, and ages will range from small children to elderly adults. Minimize the use of offensive language or comments of an explicit sexual nature. Even though the immediate family may be perfectly fine with these jokes, the distant relatives may not. Funny best man speeches are very much welcome as long as it doesn't hurt anybody.
7. What Not to Do
To deliver a great best man speech there are a few perennial no-no's, or things you should avoid at all cost. Never mention the groom's ex-girlfriends, ex-wives or previous lovers. No matter how funny you think the joke is, just say no. This is a sure way to ruin the mood of a wedding reception.
You should also avoid mentioning anything humiliating about the bride (slightly humiliating the groom can be considered appropriate in certain circumstances -- but be careful). As the best man, you are there at the request of the groom -- not the bride. Keep your comments about her respectful and polite. You can include a joke or funny story involving her, but nothing humiliating or disrespectful.
Finally, don't drink excessively before you give your speech. Many people feel they can not speak in public without several drinks in them. But the biggest sin you can commit is to give a best man speech while drunk. Believe me, it will not be considered funny -- and it will not be soon forgotten.
Follow these 7 simple tips to write and deliver a sincere, funny and appropriate best man speech.