Best Man Speech . . . a touching moment!
The idea of a bridal party is not a whimsical surface level relational symbol of how many friends the bride or groom has, but an example of true brotherhood and sisterhood supporting a friend in one of the most glorious celebrations of their lives. A wedding is not supposed to be just another party one can pick up on ladies and get inebriated at, and as the best man, it is his job to make sure the ceremony and reception goes off without a hitch. The groom already is sweating and stressing about this climatic step he’s about to take in his life, he does not need to be thinking of the over-intrusive Aunt Judy’s opinion on what makes a proper set of presents. Usually the best man is the groom’s best buddy or brother, the man that has stuck with him through thick and thin for years, and would take a bullet any day for his pal. Tradition mandates that the best man makes a best man speech at the reception. If you are the best man, this speech is what everyone is waiting for, and you better make it good because it is the culmination of what your brother or best friend really means to you. Years of friendship, fellowship, and brotherhood has brought these two men to this moment, so do not downplay the importance of your speech.
So how does one make a best man speech, or rather what makes a quality best man speech? Now that you have read how serious the speech is on an emotional and memorable level, it is okay, and even advisable, to be funny and jovial. If a best man can hit a comedic aspect and then execute a serious meaningful honesty in his speech the potential for the greatest catharsis is present, not only for the groom but the whole audience. I have been asked to be best man twice and have done two toasts so this is coming from personal experience and the success from both occasions. So to begin your process of coming up with the perfect thing to say, keep in mind that society is imperfect so before anything, throw away the unneeded stress. Most of the time when you are not stressed, this is where honest vulnerability comes from. Vulnerability is a key to making a best man speech that will really mean something to one’s buddy. Although on the surface it may seem to be feminine to be mentally and emotionally bare in front of strangers and your manly buddies, but it is a step in what will be the manliest moment of the night. Nothing is more inspirational than two men brave enough to express the bond they share in front of strangers.
A common pitfall among many best men, while giving their best man speeches, is the affinity to try and be funny or charming. This pitfall usually makes the best man come off as a fake surface level self-indulgent chump, and this fact will be apparent to the audience. I can guarantee that one will come off as charming and funny if he is just honest with himself, the groom, and the audience.
The duration of the best man speech is a factor into a successful toast. On one hand the best man does not want to be that guy who stays at the microphone for an hour and thinks it is his own stand-up comedy performance. On the other hand one doesn’t want to be the awkward or careless individual who just says “congrats, drink up”. The most amicable approach would be the healthy medium, but in the end your creativity lends to the timing.
Clichés are not the best man’s friend. On one hand there is a good reason why clichés exist, because they stem from years of reality confirming a certain way things tend to go. Put everything into your own words, own it, do not look up ‘best man speeches‘ online and copy and paste, because that is low and disrespectful to the best man badge per say.
There are three different ways to plan for the verbal execution of what one will say for his best man speech and that is scripted, free-form, and the hybrid. Scripted is one of the best choices, especially if you are nervous in front of a crowd and gives you time to really ponder what would be the best thing you can say to your best mate. It also leaves room for it to come off as robotic and not sincere, so practice it. Free-form is the most dangerous because if you do not have any sort of showmanship and add-lib skills it could turn into disaster. The hybrid is the best of both worlds and mixes both free-form and scripted, more like having an outline and this gives you a road but freedom to improvise. Hopefully with these tips you can confirm your friend’s choice to make you the best man. If you’d prefer a ready-made solution you can study these online best man speech resources, several best men from around the world have benefited from the best man speech samples and templates it offers.
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